It seems to you that something is wrong in the space of your couple, but you cannot catch what is the matter? Pay attention to your partner’s speech. Some of his statements may talk about potential “toxicity”.
Toxicity in relationships does not always arise immediately: the first signs of dysfunction are inconspicuous. But a whole layer of problems and disagreements is gradually accumulating, because of which one or both partners feel as if in a trap. They are annoyed by excess control of the other, and communication with him deprives his strength.
“Everything begins with the little things, which at first glance seem completely unimportant. But they can be safely called the manifestations of microe aggression, ”explains the clinical psychologist and business cooperation of Perpochua Neo. Nevertheless, it is worth paying attention to them: just look at all problems in the complex, and relationships will appear before you in the New World. You may have a reason to think how well everything is in your pair.
1. “You perceive everything too painfully”
If you heard a similar phrase when you paid attention to the partner’s gross or disrespectful behavior, then keep in mind: this is a vivid example of Gazlaiting – a manipulative technique that makes you lose confidence in your perception of reality.
“Over time, you begin to doubt yourself and even look for excuses for his actions. You already agree: “You know, maybe you are right (a), I took it too painfully (a). So you are gradually losing yourself, ”the neo.
2. “I’m more experienced/older than you”
If a partner always exposes himself in the role of your “Savior” – a more intelligent, wise and experienced person who deserves more respect, this can also be a sign of the toxicity of relations. “Such a partner undermines your confidence and trust in yourself, imposing you depending on him. Over time, you also begin to lose https://rc-promoteur.com/40-regles-d-or-universelles-et-absolues-du-sexe/ your real “I,” says Neo.
3. “I am worse than you”
“If a person revels in his suffering, enjoying the attention and sympathy of others, and at the same time believes that his mental pain and experiences are more significant than the experiences of other people, this is a classic sign of hidden narcissism,” Neo explains Neo.
The owner of this type of personality develops real dependence on his injuries. It seems to him that his suffering is unique, unique. And of course, they are much more important than your.
4. “I don’t like this person”
Of course, no one can get along with absolutely all. However, often toxic people deliberately conflict with your environment in order to isolate you from all and put in full dependence on themselves.
“If your partner often begins to criticize your family and friends just at those moments when you are especially susceptible to suggestion (for example, when you are tired, drowsily or drank too much), this is a particularly alarming sign,” warns Neo.
What in the end?
It is important to pay attention to the hidden signs of nascent toxicity in the relationship. Inappropriate behavior usually begins with small. “Such people first check you, watch how you react. They repeat this again and again to determine where the border of the permissible goes for you, ”explains Perpechua Neo.
Of course, if your partner or close friend occasionally uses the phrases listed above, this is not a reason for panic, but you should think about. The main thing, always remember that you and your feelings are worthy of respect!